True love can last a lifetime
by jo-chan55
Summary: Cold hearted Sesshomaru has taken the leap of faith and fallen in love...with a human. It is a cruel sense of fate that tears the only happiness he has away from him. Will he be able to regain his love and happiness? Or is he doomed to a life of solitude?
1. Chapter 1

A.N: this fic is about our cutest couple Rin and Sesshy. Don't worry Rin is legal age. It starts out kinda sad but don't worry, it will get better.

Blood. So much blood. It coated the ground on which she lay, staining the once green grass that pure vermillion hue. It was splattered everywhere revealing to me the obvious fight that she must have unleashed upon her assailants.

She had been waiting for me. Waiting for me to save her, and I had failed her. Failed my beautiful Rin. She had prolonged her pain, hoping and believing that I would be there to save her. I always had been in the past. She had every right to believe that I would be there. Only this time I wasn't.

My beautiful Rin. Her body lay in tatters. Once graceful limbs were now mutilated beyond belief, sprawled in almost unnatural positions. Once delicate throat, slashed open, blood dripping from the wound into her ebony locks.

I fell to the ground beside her, abandoning all remnants of my once beloved pride. With a sob of anguish I pulled her lifeless form into my arms, burying my nose in her hair, drinking in her scent. All I could smell was her blood. Proof that she was never coming back to me.

I could feel a distinct burning igniting in the back of my eyes. A feeling that with time had become more end more frequent. My body began to tremble with my suppressed feelings of desolation. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, and I gave in. tears of sorrow and dejection flowed profusely down my cheeks and throat, only to be soaked up by the collar of my haori.

"N..no, you…can't leave me. I love you. DO YOU HERE ME? I love you." I nearly whispered the last words my voice cracking with desperation. She was gone.

She had been my little ray of sunlight. Ever since the day that I brought her back and through her own choice she decided to stay, she had brightened up my normally cold and lonely life. Of course I never let her see that. I was afraid that I would grow to fond of her and then she would leave me for the human life that had been stolen from her.

As much as I wanted her to be happy, I had never wanted her to leave me. I would have let her go if that's what she wanted, but I would have fought to keep her with me always. She was my angel, my little princess, and I always treated her as such. For every trip back to my castle that we took, I would make sure that the servants waited on her hand and foot, getting her anything that she could want.

Of course she loved it, but she made it a point anyways to tell me every night that she didn't need any of it. Whether she needed it or it never once stopped me from pampering her anyways. Anything to make her happy, anything to make her smile.

When she began to grow older, I started to notice her beauty. A beauty that seemed to develop more and more each day. She truly was an angel. My goddess of light.

Over the years I began to feel very strangely when she was around, though I never once acted on it. The feeling was irritating and yet wonderful at the same time. A strange constricting around my heart that seemed to be influenced by her moods. Constricting tighter and tighter in joy when she was happy and in sorrow when she was sad.

Of course it wasn't until I heard my baka younger brother confess his love to the blushing reincarnated miko that I realized what my feelings meant. I had fallen in love with my Rin. However it also wasn't until an hour ago that she finally showed me that she felt the same.

One lingering kiss and words of her love for me lingering in the air, seconds before we were attacked.

We had been separated almost instantly, she running for cover and myself fighting to protect my love. Our enemy would have been rather week alone, but there were at least a hundred of them. Strength in numbers and all that I suppose.

I had been doing rather well, their numbers steadily depleting with every swing of my sword. And then I heard her scream. I had tried desperately to reach her, but those monsters must have sensed my desperation for at once they all lunged at me. I had barely been able to dodge the unending rein of attacks let alone manage to kill them all.

By the time they were all dead or had retreated, Rin's desperate screaming had ceased. With that I was gone; racing towards her scent praying to whatever gods existed that I wouldn't be too late.

But her I am. I couldn't reach her in time. Seeing her battered form laying on the ground, I flew into a rage, slaughtering every last one of the demons, not allowing a single one to live, even when they surrendered and begged for mercy.

When I finally thought that I had gained some semblance of approval and happiness, it was snatched brutally away from me

My Rin was gone…


	2. Chapter 2

A.N: Yay another chapter. And so soon to. It's still not much happier but I'm working on it.

"SIT"

"YOU BITCH WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR"

With that Inuyasha was promptly sat three more times by a thoroughly pissed of Kagome. Only serving to make a small hole in the ground. On that seemed to grow larger and larger with every "sit" that he was subjected to.

From a safer distance a couple yards away, a curious young fox demon by the name of shippou leapt up onto his friend miroku's shoulder. Then in a high almost feminine voice asked "I thought they were supposed to love each other now?"

"No matter how they may feel about each other, I think that Inuyasha and Kagome-chan will always be arguing about something." The demon huntress stated matter of factly.

"Now that you mention it, does anyone know what exactly it is that their arguing about this time?" Miroku questioned, thoroughly confused.

"YOU BAKA, "SIT"." Kagome screeched in the distance.

"No" both Sango and Shippou answered simultaneously.

Just as it seemed as if Kagome and Inuyasha were about to begin a new round of their argument, Inuyasha's ears pricked in the direction of the forest, and he whipped out his tetsusaiga as he leapt in front of Kagome.

"What's wrong Inuyasha?" Sango yelled as she Miroku and Shippou raced towards them weapons at the ready.

"A demons coming towards us." Inuyasha paused to sniff the air. "And we all know him rather well." The entire group all looked at him strangely.

"What do you mean we know him? Who is it?" Shippou questioned nervously.

Inuyasha didn't say anything for several moments, trying to understand why it was that he was smelling two different scents. And one that was obviously old blood no less. "Why would he be carrying around an old corps?" Inuyasha whispered confused.

"What are you talking about Inuyasha? You're scaring me. Who's coming this way? And what did you say about an old corps" Kagome pleaded, searching his eyes for answers. He turned to her giving her a look that clearly told her to be quiet, now wasn't the time for rambling.

Instead of answering immediately he merely turned back towards the forest were he knew that their possible adversary would be appearing shortly before deciding to supply their answer. He slowly raised his tetsusaiga uncertainly to chest height before answering rather bluntly.

"Sesshoumaru's here."

Read and review…please?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A.N: I was listening to Within temptations-angels when I wrote this. Such a good yet sad song. She has such an incredible voice. It's like Amy lee all over again.

Once again, I do not own Inuyasha or any of its character boo hoo. (sniff sniff)

I had been wandering without a purpose for almost two weeks. My demon magic was the only thing keeping Rin's body which I had insisted on taking with me from rotting to badly. Jake had been yelling at me constantly, bursting into tears every few minutes, begging for me to snap out of it. He had even offered to let me hit him if it would make me feel better. I ignored him, there was no way it would make me feel any better.  
Due to my acute and growing depression, I began to grow weaker, my stamina withering and any energy that I possessed leaking away. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I was even too weak to even dig a grave for my Rin. I was just about ready to give up and just wait for something to come along and kill me, when I sensed Inuyasha nearby.

He was the only family I had left, and even if he didn't want to accept and forgive me at this point, then hopefully he would at least burry my love and then send me to her. I wanted nothing more at this point then just to die.

As I began to near the edge of the forest, beyond of which I knew that Inuyasha would be, I could feel my knees begin to give out on me. 'Only a few feet further, it's not much further now.' the words repeated themselves in my head like a mantra. I knew that the second I left that outer ring of forestry, I would be able to see them, waiting for me, poised for attack. I couldn't blame them; I _had_ attacked them several times in the past, complaining and arguing with my little brother for possession of his tetsusaiga. I trivial matter now that I think of it. No sword in the world could have saved my Rin, not even my sword of healing, tensaiga. What a waste.

I had tried several times with my 'useless' sword, each time failing to revive her. Those accursed demons not only destroyed her fragile body, but they had also stolen her soul, making it impossible for me to bring her back to me. I had grown desperate, throwing down tensaiga only to pick up tokejin, and hold it to my heart. I wanted so badly to join her in eternal slumber, and yet I couldn't bring myself to do it. I could almost see her disappointment in me for my attempted suicide. I hated to have her disappointed in me, so I vowed to never do it again. Anything to make her happy.

I began to stumble across the forest floor, over run with undergrowth, tripping a few times on roots and weeds. I nearly dropped my precious Rin once, which caused me to panic and cling to her all the more tightly.

Her body was so limp and cold that it frightened me. The Rin whom had grown up by my side, who had followed me faithfully wherever I choose to go, had always been full of light and warmth. You couldn't stay mad or depressed for long when she was around. Whenever she thought that I was getting to serious or annoyed at something, she would run off to pick me flowers to put in my hair, (which I acted like it annoyed me but truly I didn't mind) or she'd sit behind me with her comb and brush out my hair. A task that would take her hours at a time, and yet she never seemed to mind. As if it was the only thing that could make her happy.

I miss that about her. Even her mere presence was soothing. She had proved me wrong on so many levels about my opinion of humans. They were far more then I had ever thought they could be. Or perhaps it was only my Rin that was superior. After all, none could match her worth in my eyes.

Finally after what seemed like forever, I broke past the last line of trees, nearly falling on the ground in my attempt to break free of the grasping, claw like branches. I could see them. My Younger Brother and his makeshift group. They all stood at the ready, weapons drawn, crouched in their battle stances. Proof of their obvious distrust.

Oh well, it didn't matter what they thought of me, I just wanted to bury my Rin. I didn't need them for anything else. And they obviously didn't want me.

"Sesshomaru? SESSHOMARU WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Inuyasha screamed at me obviously disturbed by my sudden appearance. Not to mention the fact that I was covered in blood and carrying a corps. It was not much of a surprise that he would get defensive so quickly.

"That's not, is it? Inuyasha its Rin. He's carrying Rin." The reincarnation nearly whispered. She pushed Inuyasha almost forcefully out of the way and began to run towards me. I was far to tired to get defensive.

"Kagome are you stupid? What the hell do you think you're doing?" Inuyasha yelled at his mate, obviously worried about her safety.

"Inuyasha SIT! This is not the time to indulge in your petty sibling rivalries, something is wrong and I intend to help." Well at least her priorities were in order.

She turned back towards me and placed her index and middle finger on Rin's deceased pulse.

"What happened?" at her words, thousands of unbidden memories and images infiltrated my mind. I couldn't take it anymore. I could feel forbidden tears flow freely down my face as I began to sob uncontrollably. My legs finally gave out on me, and I could feel myself falling.

At some point in the few seconds that it would have taken me to hit the ground, Inuyasha must have run up to where I was standing. The next thing I knew he was holding both myself and Rin to keep me from dropping her I suppose and eased us onto the ground. I could here him telling me that everything would be ok and that they would take care of everything, and then the world went dark.


	4. Chapter 4

I could hear voices, not quite distinguishable, but voices nonetheless. I tried desperately to open my eyes, or move my body unfortunately to no avail. I must admit, despite how painful it is to do so, that to feel so powerless as I felt in that moment, it frightened me beyond belief. Never before had I felt so vulnerable and weak. I could sense that I was no longer outside, but instead in a small hut. I could also sense that I was not alone. I was vulnerable, confined, and completely in the hands of whomever was present.

I desperately searched my memories, trying to at least identify my company. The last thing I could remember was standing outside with Inuyasha and his mate, the Miko girl. Inuyasha hated me so it was only natural to assume that it was the Miko who was with me and not my younger brother.

I tried once again to move my body, and moaned softly in pain as stiff muscles and joints were pulled, despite my attempts to suppress the sound. Apparently, the product of my pain had alerted the other occupant of the room, for soon I could hear them moving towards me.

An arm was slipped under my back, and I felt something soft, slipping off my eyes. I resisted the urge to try opening my eyes once more and instead simply waited. I swiftly ran the situation and the position in which my helper had put themselves in, through my mind, searching for answers. If this person was the Miko girl, I knew that she would have had trouble lifting me into even a semi upright position, despite how much wait I had previously lost. Then all questions I had about said other person where answered as I felt a full set of claws pressing lightly into my arm through the thin fabric of my haori. (A.N: Don't ask how, but in this fic, fluffy's arm grew back. I always felt bad when he lost it.)

Suddenly I was able to recognize the scent of the figure next to me. "Inuyasha?" My voice sounded hoarse even to my own ears.

"Ya it's me." He answered rather gruffly, sounding somewhat annoyed. I could feel my upper body being lifted, until I was sitting upright and leaning slightly against him. I subconsciously tucked my legs gingerly to the side, allowing him to support me completely. (A.N: I love it when people do that. It just sounds so graceful.)

"Sesshoumaru..." The gruff tone in his voice was completely gone, hesitance replacing it. "Sesshoumaru...What happened? ...I mean to...Rin" It was an innocent question, one that in his youth, he would have been curious enough to brave all and ask about. I couldn't fault him for that. However, that didn't prevent the tears from escaping my still closed eyes, at the memory of my beloved. The anguish that I had felt at her death coming back to me full force.

It is perfectly clear now that the fates do not want me to be happy, for whenever I find someone whom I care for; they are torn away from me. My mother, my Father, in a sense, even Inuyasha, and now my precious Rin.

I've never wanted the same fate to become Inuyasha's, perhaps that is why I shun him. I would prefer to hurt him than to have him killed because of me.

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Inuyasha's P.O.V

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He was crying! He was actually crying! Never before in my entire life had I ever seen him show any semblance of emotion, and here he was, body shaking uncontrollably with the force of his tears. Lord Sesshoumaru, the Ice Prince, the inventor of cold calculating cruelty, wasn't supposed to cry. I looked up to him, I always have, and if he can't be strong than how can I be expected to? Although I suppose that by saying that I'm not giving him enough credit. He had every right to cry. He had obviously cared more for Rin than we had ever thought possible. Had I been in his shoes, I know that I would cry every day for weeks if not months. I did the same thing after the death of my mother.

As cruel as it may seem, it is somewhat refreshing to actually see him cry, even if the reasons for it are tearing him apart. It allows me to see that even the impenetrable Sesshoumaru can be wounded to. It's not that I want him to be in pain, but I do want him to be able to show me when he is sad. He's my brother and I want to be able to help him, and I vow here and now that, that is exactly what I'll do. He may hate me, but that won't stop me from being there for my Brother when he needs someone to show that they care. Who knows, maybe this incident, no matter how devastating and horrible will actually serve to bring us closer together again, like we used to be, when I was only a pup. I want, no...I need my brother back.

(A.N: sorry about the wait my dearies, a lot of things came up. I'll try to write more a head of time in the future. There's exams this week though so I may not be able to post for at least 2 weeks.

Reviewer Responses

**yasha's boo: **You wanted it, well here it is -. Oh and dunna worry, everything works out in the end. All though i'm sorry, but expect a few more depressing chapters before things get better. sniff sniff sowy.

**silentchild13: **Awww sorry for making you cry. As i said before, it shall get better.

**Tiki-Chan: **Tehe, thankies for the reviews, although i expected nothing less from you. i'm not gunna revive Rin, but all shall be well. Oh yess, I AM GOD...no wait, ur god, LMAO i am jesus than. tehe.

**Angels Heart 1622: **Thankies for your review

**RinsDarkMagician: **Omg, Thankies for your multiple reviews. Much more cutness on the way. And dunna worry, i'm planning on Inuyasha and Sesshy actually getting along in this fic. YAY!

**Balita: **Hiya Snookums. Thankies for the reviews. tehe, this chapters for you and Tiki and AAALL of my other lovely reviewers. I LOVE YOU ALL! tehe.


	5. Chapter 5

(A.N: And up goes chapter five, Yay, i'm surprised I even got this far does little happy dance tehe, sorry about that, I got a little carried away ;. I'll try and make this chapter a little longer than the last, and attempt to progress things a little further. I need to actually introduce the plot at some point. Oh well, all in due time, now without further ado, on to the story. - (oh and one last side note, the story will always be told in Sesshoumaru's P.O.V unless specified otherwise.)

As each day passed, I could feel my strength gradually returning to me. Throughout the entire time that I spent with Inuyasha's group, I was never once left alone. Sometimes it was Inuyasha who would sit with me, grumbling the entire time; other times it was the Miko girl, Kagome, who seemed to feel the need to fill every excruciating second with her usless blabbing. (A.N: sorry about that, I couldn't resist.) Of course every now and then, when both Kagome and Inuyasha were else where, the other three members of their group, were constantly present, constantly, hovering, constantly talking. For someone such as myself who has lived their entire life, dispising and looking down on humans, this was like a form of cruel and unusauall punishment to me. As much as I longed to tell them to leave, and threaten their lives if they didn't, I resisted, hopeing that they would eventually notice my silent hostility towards them and back off.

Finally the day came when my dear Rin would be put to rest. Her inevitable funeral had only been put off this long so that I could be there to say goodbye. My strength had returned fully enough that I was now able to not only stand but walk and run for brief periods of time. I used my strength now, to stand by her grave, watching as she slowly dissapeared from view. Small bouquets of flowers, brought by the Miko, the monk and the demon slayer, were placed on Rins grave to resemble respect I suppose. I had nothing to offer her.

As the day wore on, I remained by her side. Slowly but surley, the others began to drift away, leaving her and I alone. Inuyasha was the last to leave, remaining until the sun began to dip behind the horizon. Although what the ones around me saw was nothing but indifference shinning in my eyes, for every second that passed, anguish crashed through my heart destroying and devistating everything in it's path, like a rampant tsunami. With one last worried glance, Inuyasha to left my side. Unshed tears carefully locked away inside, threatened to break through and drown me in their depths. As I fell to the ground and knelt at by my beloved's side, I only allowed a few drops from that ocean inside of me, spill forth to land on the freshly turned dirt, and make it's way down to her. I brought my fingers to my lips, kissing them lightly, before pressing them on to the earth where she lay. I said nothing. I didn't have to. She knew what i needed to tell her, perhaps in most cases, before even I knew.

I only began my trek back to the hut that had been my temporary home, after dusk had fallen, and the moon had come finally to rest in heavens loving imbrace. Once I returned, The group knew not to speak to me. They allowed me to pass without hesitation. I would go back to being what I had been before Rin had come into my life. Well at least on the outside, thats what others would see. I would never forget my Rin, but I would never again let anyone else I cared about be hurt like she was.

I wiped all emotion from my face that night, burrying my love and loss deep inside my heart. I closed the doors and secured the locks. I was cursed with the "gift" of longevity, and if i was going to live for thousands of years more, i would make sure that I could never be hurt again.

(A.N: Sorry this chapter is so short, but i wanted to have sort of a closing chapter before the fun stuff begins, OH YA BRING ON THE PLOT. - the next chapter will be much longer i swear. Read and review my lovlies i love it when you do so. oh and btw, i'm not gunna write a reviewer response thingy for this chapter cause it's so short, i will for the next chapter though, dunna worry. and i'm out, until the next chappie, ja ne)


	6. Chapter 6

(A.N: And so, here is the 6th glorious chapter. first order of buisness. I apologize if there are any big spelling mistakes or gramatical errors in my fanfic. The Word program on my laptop doesn't have spell check ;, usually i can catch errors, but with exams coming up and everything I tend to bypass most of the obvious ones. (lol, this update took so long that my exams have been over for ages...-) Second order of buisness, this is the chapter (but mostly in the next cause I just really want to update) where everything will start to pick up, the plot will be developed along with the conflict (oh don't sigh, there has to be one somewhere). Oh btw, there will be some kagome bashing in this chapter and possibly in future chapters. I really just don't like her -. Thank you very much for all your support. More reviews equals faster updates, so keep on reviewing :P. And on to the story.) ( I'm also very very sorry for how long this update has taken. I've been working on finishing my novel over on fictionpress so I havn't gotten a chance to actually write more of this fanfic. but because my novel is winding down for the time being I finally have time -)

Five hundred, nineteen years and counting. Every single year, meaninglesly added to an equally meaningless life. Boring and bleak, every single day the same. The only interesting thing that has happened in these excruciatingly long years, was when I one day by chance, stumbled across Inuyasha and his mate. I had always known that he had chosen to become a human and go back to her time to be with her, but I never once imagined that i would meet up with him again.

As I think about Inuyasha and his newfound life, I can feel an incurable bout of envy, uncurling in my gut. Unlike myself, he had been allowed to skip past the last five hundred years. The years that I had to suffer through, watching with every century, humans taking over nation after nation, country after country, now in full possession of the entire world. My contempt for humans in general only grew when they proceded to push demons of the map completly. They no longer hunted us down, which I suppose was a nice change, but instead they chose to refuse that we even exist. I was forced to hide my demon abilities, and change my records every now and then, so that the state wouldn't become suspicios of a never aging person who simply refuses to die. Demons weren't respected anymore, infact the majority of the human race didn't even believe that we existed. To them, Demons were nothing more than a fantasy, something awe inspiring and deadly at the same time. I became a shadow of what I once was. I hated it.

Of course, I still missed my love. I missed Rin every day of my life. Every year, on the day of her death, I would go back to the place that she was buried, which now resided in a rather desolated park. Years and years ago, I created a small company of sorts. It delt with nothing in perticular, and yet everything at the same time. With time it started to grow, fast becoming one of the most succesfull and promising companies in Japan. Every few decades, I would write up a will, allowing my next identity to inherit the company and all it's profits. After all this time, it was childs play for me to purchase the park in which Rin lay, when the government was preparing to tear it down and build strip malls and other such vulgarities in it's place. They were far more pleased at my offer for it, and immediatly signed the property over to me. I had a marble angel built to serve as a grave stone for Rin. Her name had been carved at the base that the angel stood on. However, to this day the land still remains a public park, even though very few people choose to pass through it. I knew Rin would want it that way. She had always been a people person. Quick to make friends and quick to please.

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After I had been re-aquainted with my long lost younger brother and his recently made wife, the two had begun to insist that I drop by on a nearly daily basis, and if i couldn't make it to them, they would come to me. On these such visits, Kagome would often appear in my office at any time of the day that pleased her, carrying containers of food, that she insisted I eat with them, dragging Inuyasha along behind her. Although Inuyasha's disposition hadn't seemed to change one bit throughout all the years that he had been absent, I could tell, if i listened and watched very closly, that he no longer held as much contempt and hostility towards me as he used to. This pleased me, more than I wanted it to.

"Good morning Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha and I thought we should bring you some food. I know how terrible your diet can be, and besides, even you need a bit of company sometimes." I sighed internally and prepared myself for the next two to four hours of insistant blabbing from the most annoying female on the planet. I could feel eyes on me, and turned just in time to see Inyasha giving me an apologetic look and shrugging his shoulders. I was greatful to him for this and a slight nod in return. Lucky for the both of us, Kagome was so caught up in whatever it was she was saying that she didn't see the exchange. Had she seen us, we would have cirtainly been in for the most annoying emotion she posessed, coincidentally for this short tempered girl, it was her anger.

And so the next two and a half hours passed by excruciatingly slow, each tick of the clock grating ever so slightly on my already frazzled nerves. I really just wanted nothing more at this moment than for her to just leave. I don't remember hating even Naraku, who betrayed me and threatened Rin several times, this much.

Luckily after about an hour of her insistant blabbering, Kagome's cell phone blared into life. After a couple of minutes of neverending discussion on her part, she finally hung up and closed the phone with a snap, turning to face us at the same time.

"I'm terribly sorry Sesshoumaru, but I have to go now. I have a previous engagement that I completely forgot about." Why was I not surprised?

"Inuyasha are you coming." She asked in that nazaly voice of hers as she faced him, hand on hip and a slightly irritated expression on her face.

"No, actually I think I'm gunna stay here for a while." I blinked a few times in surprise and resisted the urge to pinch myself to make sure that I was indeed awake.

"What? Are you serious?" She nearly sscreached.

"There's food here." We both knew that this was a lie. Kagome's food was in no way up to either of our standards. She just wasn't a very good cook.

"Um...ok then, bye guys." She waved hesitantly before giving up and simply leaving. Meanwhile, I waited for Inuyasha's evident excuse for his choice to stay with me of all people. He may not hate me but as far as I knew, I wasn't yet on his list of favorite people.

Eventually...after a few moments of rather uncomfortable silence, I decided to break the trend and ask him the obvious.

"Ok Inuyasha, any particular reason you decided that you suddenly desired my company above your wife's?" I waited, but no scathing response followed. I looked over at him, curious, only to find him staring back with a somber expression on his face.

"Inuyasha?" I was becoming quite concerned, and nervous. I didn't know how to respond to him when he wasn't looking for a fight.

"I'm sorry." He said so quietly that had I been a human I would have missed it.

"...For what? I don't understand." I was thoroughly confused. He had never in my hundreds of years of knowing him, acted like this.

"I went to the park yesterday...the one where we burried Rin."

"...Oh." Was my intelligent reply.

"...I just wanted you to know that...even though we've never really gotten along, I'm still around if you ever need someone to talk to. I'm your brother after all...thats what I'm here for." The corner of his mouth twitched upwards into a small smile. He stood slowly, and moved until he was standing more or less in front of me. I had lowered my head at some point, so I couldn't see him, but I knew that he was there.

He placed his hand on my left shoulder, patting me gently before moving gthe limb back to rest at his side. At this point I did return his gaze, offering my own small smile.

"Thanks...I might take you up on that offer sometime."

After Inuyasha had left, I decided that it was time to pay my Rin another visit. I left all of my files and whatever I had been working on, where the were, opting only to lock my office door behind me as I left. It was getting colder out every day. I remebered a time, before I had ever met Rin, when the cold never bothered me. In fact, I never even noticed it. However when Rin came storming into my life all sunshine and light, the cold suddenly became an issue for me. She possessed so much warmth at all times that it soon had me craving the feeling. When she was gone, everything reverted back to being cold. I couldn't take the cold any longer.

As I neared her burial place, I took a short detour to a flower shop. The least I could do was buy her some flowers to shed some light on her eternal home. The price for a single bouquet of roses seemed to be unbearable high as of late, however I suppose that nothing was to good for my Rin.

Sooner rather then later, I found myself standing at the foot of the monument that marked Rin's grave site. I laid the bouquet at the marble angels feet in a sort of offering to my love. I was glad that the park was empty today, for I preferred to be alone with her. Or so I thought that I was alone.

"Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me." A soft feminen voice sounded from somewhere behind me.

"Sorry for what?" I asked as I begane to turn towards her.

"I...I just bumped into you." I hadn't even noticed that she had done that.

At this point I had turned to face her, but I had yet to actually look at her.

"oh...um...thats alright, don't worry about it." Even though I couldn't remember the act, I figured I might as well let her off the hook anyways. Besides, she had such a familiar sounding voice and comforting aura, that I couldn't let her go without making sure that I had assured her that she whouldn't be sorry. At this point I finally chose to look at her. And almost had a heart attack.

"Rin?"


	7. Chapter 7

(A/N: Oh dear God I havn't updated anything in here for ever . I'm so sorry to anyone who was upset by this. What a cruel cliffhanger I left you all on for such a long time. I've been going through all of my old stories both here and on fiction press and have decided to update the old ones and revise and re-do the crappy ones. This one I'm surprisingly proud of considering how young I was when I wrote it. It's been a while since I've watched the show but I'll give the next chapter a try. Thanks for all your previous reviews lovies, they help with the writers block. Peace and Love)

A brilliant smile lit up her face. God how I had missed that smile.

"How did you know? Have we met before? I'm sorry I'm having such a hard time placing you." her hands fluttered a little at her sides, not sure whether to reach out and offer her hand to shake, or to keep them where they were.

"You just…you look so much like a woman I knew once." A great pressure was building up behind my eyes, almost cutting off my air supply. I fought the urge to pull her to me and crush her to my chest. Wanted so badly to place soft kisses all over her face and whisper in her ear how much I had missed her. For a moment life seemed 'right' again. And then as she tucked her hands into her jacket pockets and withdrew from me, that brief feeling was sucked away from me.

She smiled awkwardly at me. "Well it was nice to meet you." She hesitated for a moment, then stepped away from me, turning for a moment to grace me with a small wave before she disappeared behind a wall of trees.

"Rin…"

(I'm going to throw this one up now even though it is unbearably short. I'm interested in finishing it but I think I need the night to think on it and plan out a few details before I can begin to finish up the rest of the story. Thank you to my loyal readers. I promise to update asap. I've been on a huge writing roll lately so if I don't get it up tomorrow, I'll have it up the next day.)


	8. Chapter 8

**(A/N: As promised, a new chapter for your pleasure.)**

**There was no way. It couldn't be her. It had to be a coincidence, it absolutely had to be. I had thought that perhaps she would be reincarnated, like Kikyo had been, but reason made clear the fact that where Kikyo had been a priestess destined to protect the Shikon Jewel, Rin was just a girl. A girl who was important to no one but me. I had tried to bring her back, but with no soul a revival is impossible. I had hunted down the demons that had stolen my love from me, but to no avail. For nearly 300 years I hunted them avidly, and though I no longer spend my every waking moment hunting them, I have never stopped looking. I had hoped that perhaps they still had her soul, that maybe I could use it to bring her back. I know that it was just wishful thinking, but I think it is the only thing, silly or not, that has allowed me to live this long.**

**I stood stock still until I could no longer hear her walking away from me, trying to memorize her sounds, her scents, matching them up with my fragmented memories of Rin. Perhaps this was her. It was possible wasn't it? If I, cold hearted unfeeling Yokai Lord Sesshomaru had learned how to fall in love with a human, anything was possible.**

**As her presence grew faint, and I could no longer hear her, I finally allowed my self to move. Hesitantly of course. It was hard to walk away from her, but walk away I did. I dropped to the park floor, pressing my fingers to my lips I left a kiss on Rin's grave, then making sure no one was around to witness, lept into the trees. I had a lot to think about, I needed to be alone right now.**

**A few miles away, I landed nimbly on the front porch to my home. I walked up the marble steps to my overly ornate oak door. Once inside I brushed the snow flakes from my coat for unfortunately it had begun to snow, then began to strip off the extra layers. My coat, gloves and scarf all found their way into the closet, my dripping shoes left at the front door. I padded through the cold dark hallways up to my study hidden on the far side of my ridiculously large house. My study had been redecorated to resemble the traditional Japanese bedroom that Rin and I had shared half a millennia ago. I had mad copies of our old garments, had old trinkets and pieces dear to us preserved, I had even hired a famous ink painter to put her likeness to paper which was framed and hung up on my wall. There was no futon here like there had been in our old room, no one was here to sleep on it. Other than that small difference, this room was an exact replica. It was the only place on this earth that brought me peace. I thought maybe that being here amongst all of her possessions, and the things that held her essence, perhaps I could solve the enigma of the return of my beloved. **

**She did not just look like my Rin. She had the same walk, the same laugh, the same smile, the same comforting presence, the same scent. If they were not the same person then I was a cat. But how could that be possible? The chances of her being reincarnated were nearly impossible. Not just any person had the luck of being reincarnated. Besides, if her soul had been truly lost, as I was beginning to believe it had been, it would be impossible to bring her back in any way shape or form. Every being needed a soul to survive. Demons who had lost their souls stole the souls of others in order to survive. If I had found the demons whom had stolen Rin's soul from her and regained her soul, I could have found a way to bring her back, body or not. But there was no record of them, no trail whatsoever. It seemed as though that their attack on my beloved was their last act on this earth. There was no trace of them after that moment. **

**I began to pace across hard wood floors. Why couldn't I figure this out?! There had to be an explanation. I had seen her, she wasn't my imagination. She was real, alive, and here in this time. Something or someone had brought her back, but how? I had been without her for too long. Now she was finally back, I didn't know how, and she didn't even remember me. I had suffered enough hadn't I? Even I deserved to be a little bit happy didn't I? **

**Reaching the far wall, I pulled back my arm and sent my fist flying through the wall. "WHY?!!"**

**Retracting my arm, I turned around and slumped against the wall, my anger gone in an instant, leaving behind despair, and over 500 years of pent up loneliness. I needed to find her again. Perhaps a history check. I needed clues to solve this puzzle. If she was back in this world, I wanted to have her back in my life, and I intended to do everything in my power to make that a reality. No one would take her from me this time, not again.**

_**Ring ring…Ring ring…Ring ri-*click***_

"**Hello?"**

"**I need to speak with you…now."**

"**Sesshomaru?"**

"**Come to my house, it's important."**

**Sesshomaru what are you talking about? Are you ok?"**

"**Please Inuyasha just do as I say."**

"**O.K I'll be there in five, sit tight."**

"**Thankyou…"**

*****_**Click***_

**(A/N: Shall they start a search for the elusive girl who may or may not be Rin? I think so ;D)**


	9. Chapter 9

_(A/N: I would just like to make a note or two. I'm aware that Sesshomaru is incredibly OOC in this story, although is it not true that it is incredibly OOC of him to fall in love with a human at all? Just think of it as, he's finally allowed himself to feel where he only allowed himself to hate, and finally when he found happiness with someone, that happiness was taken from him. Once you open the flood gates it's hard to close them again. And now his happiness may have come back and he's afraid of what that may mean, afraid that he was just imagining it and that she's not back, or afraid that she is and that if she's back it means he may have to loose her again. Lol, I know it's nothing like he normally is, but hopefully you like the change anyways. At some point or another he's going to act exactly according to character…but it won't be a good thing at that point in the story. Enjoy the chapter. I warn you it is extremely OOC, keep those reviews coming, I love hearing from you all. Suggestions are also welcome)_

"_SESSHOMARU! OI…SESSHOMARU WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! This house is like a freaking maze…way to goddamned big for his own good…not secluding himself at all, oh no, has a friggin country for a house." _I could hear Inuyasha grumbling from my front hall way. I leaned over the banister directly above him.

"Inuyasha." I called out to get his attention.

"Come." I gestured towards the staircase.

"I'm not a dog!" He responded gruffly.

Ignoring him, I turned and walked back to my study. I could hear Inuyasha trudging up the stairs behind me, grumbling all the way. I knew however that this was all an act. It was simply easier for us to get along if we acted like we only tolerated each other. After so many decades, actually admitting that we cared for each other as brothers should, may prove to be more than we could handle. Unknown territories should sometimes be left un-tread.

I pushed back the screen door to my study and entered, Inuyasha hot on my trail. As I settled myself onto one of the many cushions lining the floors I looked back at him only to see that he had stopped completely in the door way, looking around eyes wide open. I realised at that moment that I had never invited him in here before. No one but myself had ever seen this room. He was scanning the entire space, eyes resting on all of the familiar artefacts of the past, his gaze resting for a particularly long time on the portrait of my dear Rin. He gave me a look. A look told me that he was worried about me, that he was afraid I was just destroying myself more by keeping her memory so close to me. He of course was wrong. Without her I had nothing.

"So whats up? How come you called me over?" He plopped himself down rather ungracefully onto one of my ornate cushions placing his hands on his knees, elbows facing outward.

I considered how to answer this. I knew what I wanted to tell him, but how could I possibly explain. What if he thought I was going crazy?

"Well? Out with it!" Apparently I had been considering for a tad too long.

"Sesshomaru, if you didn't want to talk to me about anything why did you call me over?"

"I saw Rin…"

He sighed a little and looked at me with sympathy.

"I know that you want her back, that you still miss her and love her…but she's not coming back. Sesshomaru she's gone."

"No brother you don't understand. I saw her, truly I did. Stop looking at me like that! I swear. I was at her grave this afternoon bringing her flowers as always, only this time a woman was there. Inuyasha I swear to you it was Rin. That was her name. She had Rin's scent, her walk, her looks, her smile, she WAS Rin. I don't know how, believe me I've tried to figure it out, but she's back I guarantee it"

He looked at me like he still believed that I had finally lost it.

"Please…believe me. This is killing me, I really need your help. I don't know what to do…" I put my head in my hands, my entire body slumped. I felt an incredible weight settle onto my shoulders. God what was I supposed to do? I had to believe she was back. I died when she died, and I wanted to live again. I could feel tears welling up behind my closed eyes. God, now I was going to cry in front of my younger brother. How low could I sink. I was already pathetically empty and now my strength was failing. I didn't want him to see me as this weak person I was becoming. The tears came unbidden, slipping from behind my eyes. Not even closed lids or the hands cupped over them could stop the flow. Inuyasha remained silent. I couldn't hear him moving, could barely hear him breathing. He was probably waiting for the best possible moment to leave.

I didn't care anymore. I had never allowed myself to feel before Rin. Never allowed myself to love, feel happiness, pain, or sorrow. Now that she was gone all I was capable of feeling was sorrow, and I couldn't take it anymore.

Inuyasha had begun to move, rustling around gently. Probably getting ready to sneak away. I kept my head down, allowing him to go without guilt if that is what he wished. Though what he did do surprised me completely.

Suddenly there was a presence at my side, arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders, and his face was pressed against my back. I felt something snap within me, setting my desperation free. I could feel the tears falling freely now, small sobs forming in the back of my throat, my chest constricting painfully. He just held on tighter. I turned into the embrace, not exactly going so far as to hold him back, but allowing myself to rest my head on his shoulder.

"I believe you…We'll figure this out, I promise." I pulled back from him a bit and wiped at my eyes with the backs of my hands, nodding at him as I did so.

"We'll go find her first. I'll have to see her before I can help you do anything about it."

I sniffed back the last of my tears feeling some of that great weight lifting off of my shoulders. Ya, we could do this. We would find her, discover the secret to her survival, and make her remember me so that I could love her and be with her once again.

"Thank you. You don't know how much I appreciate this." He clapped his hand down onto my shoulder in reassurance, trying to give us both back a bit of our male pride I suppose. I matched his movement and offered up a small fleeting smile in return.

After the few minutes we had taken to collect ourselves and pretend that we had never done anything less than 'manly', we decided to meet up the next day at Rin's resting place and see if her 'reincarnation' would appear once again. I was afraid to hope for the best, but found that I couldn't help myself. I was almost excited by the prospect of even possibly seeing her the next day. So excited that I couldn't sit still. After Inuyasha left I tried to eat, tried to sleep, tried to meditate, tried to do anything really. I found that all I could think about was finding Rin again. I ran hundreds of scenarios through my mind of us finally being reunited, each one better than the last. I knew in the back of my mind that I was setting myself up for disappointment, but even though I knew the chances of seeing her two days in a row in the same place were slim, I just couldn't bring myself to care. Couldn't bring myself to dim my excitement and hope.

Even after so many long years, I had not quite learned how to control this new ability to feel. Not feeling anything at all was an easy state to control, not having to care, not having to worry, nothing affecting my ability to calculate options with a strictly analytical mind. This was so much more difficult. The uncertainty alone was enough to drive any person mad. There was no turning this flood of emotions off. I took a few deep calming breaths making one last attempt to push them back behind that wall inside my head that had caged them all so well once upon a time.

I never did manage to sleep a wink that past night. My mind was reeling far to quickly to quite it to the degree in which is required for one to sleep. Inuyasha and I had planned to meet at Rin's resting place at noon. I had seen the "reincarnation" of Rin shortly after my lunch hour the previous day so it seemed logical that if she was going to re-appear there it would be in during the same general time. I however had been awake and ready to go since four a.m. It had been murder trying to occupy my time for nearly 7 hours.

Inuyasha finally showed up at my home, mere minutes before we were meant to depart, yawning widely and struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Just woke up didn't you?"

"Hey, I'm here aren't I? Your lucky I'm awake at all."

"Inuyasha if weren't interested in helping why did you come?" He crossed his arm at this scowling at me a little.

"Lets just go, we're loosing valuable time."

"Alright alright, you don't have to get all pissy." He turned on his heel and leapt up on to the nearest building. I paused for not but a moment before following close behind him.

(A/N: Off to find dear Rin. Should they find her this time?)


	10. Chapter 10

_(A/N: Oh just so you know. Sesshomaru has been alive and aware for the decades that it took for him to go from feudal Japan to modern times, but Inuyasha jumped through the well with kagome, so he was not alive and aware during those many years with Sesshomaru. Essentially sessy was alone for that entire time. Oh and both of them are still demons.)_

As we made our way to the park, leaping from roof top to roof top, I did my best to put my mind to rest, constantly repeating to myself '_Don't get your hopes up and you can't be let down'. _I tried to convince myself that we wouldn't find Rin. I was actually hoping that perhaps I had gone crazy and imagined the whole encounter. It would be so much easier to go on with my life if she had never come back in the first place, if I never saw her again. Of course in my heart I knew this was all a lie. I desperately wanted her to be back, desperately wanted her to remember me, and want to pick up our lives right where we had left off…but I also knew that I did not want to feel that pain again if I were to loose her, or if she we're not to remember me and wanted nothing to do with me. Better to not care at all. This what if she is back and still loves me, I could open myself up to her and take her away where we can be together forever. And if it turns out I really am crazy, then I've lost nothing, and I can go back to my meaningless life conquering the business world and raking in millions.

Inuyasha, running alongside me, kept throwing me concerned glances. Who knew the mutt could be so mature.

"Is there something on your mind Inuyasha, or are you just prone to staring at me." I tossed casually at him.

"Shuddup." He grumbled back, a slight flush of shame covering his cheeks. I smirked and picked up the pace.

It took only a few more moments for us to reach our destination. We landed behind a row of trees, out of the view of the general public. It would not do for them to see such a spectacle and mob us. I'm fairly certain that would prevent us from successfully locating Rin's '_reincarnation'_. The park was surprisingly crowded today…and by crowded I mean there was a grand total of 3 families and a lone man walking his tiny rat like dog. We exited the wall of trees and walked over to the bench stationed a few feet away from Rin's burial place. The bench itself, other than being positioned specifically for admiration of the great statue on her resting place, also offered the best view of the entire park. The entire park was shaped like a giant circle, most of it filled in by forest. The empty field like space however was shaped more like a semi circle, or a crescent moon. The bench and Rin's resting place were positioned directly in the centre of the park at the highest point of the crescent moon allowing who ever was sitting there to see both entrances, and every other open space in the park. That combined with our acute sense of sight and smell we had a perfect view of the entire park, as well as some of the surrounding area.

We sat there and waited, and waited, and waited…and waited, and still nothing. A few families came and went, random travellers using the park as a short cut, some couples walking their dogs, or going for romantic midday walks…but no sign of the only one I actually cared about. Beside me Inuyasha stretched and yawned.

"Well, I'm gunna go get some coffee, I'm falling asleep on my feet here."

"…Your sitting down you baka."

"Whatever, you want one?" Inuyasha ran a clawed hand through his bangs.

"Fine. Just the usual." I straightened my back slightly, forcing myself to perk up a little.

"Alrighty, one black coffee coming up, and a caffeine IV drip for me." He chuckled at his own joke. I sighed at him for laughing at his own joke that wasn't really a joke. He waved a hand at me, dismissing me basically, then put both hands in his coat pockets and strode off with determination. I checked my watch absently, it read 2o'clock…and hour and a half had already gone by, and still no sign of Rin. I wondered how long Inuyasha would actually wait with me. He was not exactly well known for his patience.

Once he returned, I quickly downed my hot coffee, needing a bit of a 'pick me up, then wished I had more. Of course I was unwilling to ask him to get more, and even less willing to leave my spot and risk missing her. So I folded my hands on top of my lap and willed myself to relax. Although my patience was wearing thin, I did not want to risk leaving the park. The bench had become uncomfortable, the silence unbearable, and the wait was driving me slowly insane. Luckily, after about another long hour of anxiously waiting, Inuyasha's stomach growled loudly startling us both out of our own thoughts.

"Oops" He quickly looked at the cause of all the noise, then covered his stomach with his hand.

"Oh my god how long have we been sitting here?" He whined leaning his head back over the edge of the bench, and clutching at his stomach.

"Stop complaining mutt we've only been here for a few hours."

"But it feels like foreeevvveeeer. I'm starving. I'm going to get something to eat." Inuyasha slowly got to his feet, wincing and complaining all the way of stiff joints and sleeping limbs.

I looked after him as he walked away, then turned my gaze to survey the rest of the park. I realised that I had not been paying as close attention as I should have. We'd been sitting out here for about 3 hours now. Now considering how many daytime hours there were, it really wasn't that long of a time, but having seen no sign whatsoever of the girl who I was convinced was Rin, I was beginning to lose hope. I knew that Inuyasha was running out of patience, and I could tell that he wouldn't wait with me for much longer. I was afraid however that if he were to leave then I would have to face the facts that I probably _had_ gone crazy. I shivered slightly as I felt the cold was starting to seep into my bones. I guess I couldn't blame Inuyasha for wanting to get out of here. As much as I wanted to find Rin, even I was dying to get out of here and back to somewhere warm…Although it would be nice to go somewhere warm with my Rin.

Inuyasha was gone for nearly a half an hour before I saw him reappear from behind a row of trees with an armful of baked goods, sandwiches, and a cup in each hand. He settled himself beside me once again, placed all of his bags of food beside him, and handed me one of the cups.

"Here, it's getting cold so I brought you another coffee." He handed me the beverage.

I stared at him in near amazement. He had certainly changed over the years. To think he had thought of me when his stomach should have had his full attention.

"Thanks." I muttered, still in a bit of shock.

"So how much longer do you think we'll be staying out here?" he asked.

"Well you know I want to find her, but I know that you probably won't survive staying out here for that much longer…give it another hour or so?" He sighed a little but then conceded and agreed that, that would be ok.

The minutes crawled by at a snails pace and yet still managed to disappear too fast. The wind picked up and was blowing in from our left, leaving me without the ability to pick up any kind of scent from our right. Much to our _luck_ the scents that kept bombarding out nose happened to come from the nearby city…which did not smell good. A babysitter with half a dozen little kids walked by us, one of the youngest tried to crawl up on to the bench next to us. Inuyasha tried to pretend he didn't find the kid cute, but I could tell that he was probably getting to that point in his life where he'd be itching for a kid of his own. Once the woman had left though the park was nearly empty. There was a pair off to our right walking their dog, but I couldn't be bothered with them. Other than that the entire park had emptied with the babysitter. A quick glance at my watch told me that there were less than 5 minutes left before Inuyasha would begin to whine about wanting to go home. And because he'd sat here for so long, I knew I wouldn't argue against that desire. I ran a hand through my hair in irritation. We would never find her at this rate.

I sat back against the bench and tried to take as deep breaths as possible opening myself up to any and every scent in the park. Unfortunately the only thing I could smell was the city, and the cursed wind that was hindering my scent was also carrying the sound from the city, drowning out all else. Feeling deaf and blind, I gave up on my search, just as my watch hit the one hour mark. I could hear the chime of the cities clock telling me that it was indeed 4 o'clock. Inuyasha came to life beside me rubbing a hand over his face and shaking the pins and needles from his legs.

"Welp…time to go?" I nodded hesitantly…I did tell him we'd go now. It would be incredibly unfair to take back my word now.

"Ya I guess." Inuyasha rose to his feet, stretching and barely stifling a huge yawn. I was about to rise to my feet, when suddenly I was bombarded by a mass of white fur.

"What the FU/*choke*" mouth full of dog fur? Lovely.

"OH My God! I am so sorry! Ah-Un Heel!!" Hearing the familiar name, I pushed at the rather large white dog that had taken up residence on my lap, hoping to remove it. I had to see the owner.

Beside me Inuyasha had sat heavily back down on to the bench and fallen suspiciously silent. He hadn't spoken once, had not laughed at my misfortune, and had not even tried to help me out of it.

After several moments of wrestling with the dog, the owner pulling on it's leash, and myself pushing at it relentlessly, the large beast finally jumped to the ground. I shook my clothes off and brushed the remaining fur from my face.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know why he suddenly got so excited. Come on Ah-Un, time to go home." The owner pulled the dog away, clearing my line of vision just in time to see the young woman turn and walk away. I looked at Inuyasha beside me who was staring at said woman, jaw hanging open, eyes wide and popping out of his skull. He tore himself away from the retreating form and looked at me incredulously. He shut his jaw long enough to nearly whisper at me…

"There's no fucking way…"


End file.
